Here's the scoop on Jonathanville Public Access!
HISTORY:
For decades, GuWayne Kelso was best known for making most of Jonathanville’s door knobs. After trading his diabetes medicine for a video camera in 1973, however, GuWayne switched over to making most of Jonathanville’s television shows. He would proudly go house to house, using his own door knobs to let himself in and show off all the footage he’d been collecting. Before long, most of his viewers were asking to make their own TV shows to share with everyone, so GuWayne launched Jonathanville Public Access (JPA). Thousands of shows have since been created, produced, and aired on JPA. GuWayne knew he wouldn’t be around to run the station forever, so from the moment he broadcast each one of our births live on air, GuWayne made sure that JPA was deeply ingrained in the lives of his eight children -- Barry (that's me!), Mary, Terry, Sherry, Jerry, Harry, Larry, and Library Kelso. The seven surviving siblings remain passionate about continuing to run the family business, and we hope GuWayne’s sickass fucking plasma TV set gets this channel up in heaven.
FACILITIES:
JPA has three sound stages, a state of the art editing facility, a green screen, and a green latrine. We can make it look like you are going to the bathroom on literally anything you can imagine. We also have actual bathrooms, and we are now legally required to include a notice here that no cameras are to be placed or used inside of those bathrooms without first putting a note on the door that says, “Filming In Progress. Do what you gotta do, but know that it’s being recorded.” We apologize again to everyone affected by Larry Kelso’s unauthorized decision to create and air the show Does Ladies Crap? Yes They Does.
LOCATION:
Our offices are located in the basement of Mt. Saint Tanya’s Hospital, across the street from Tim’s Southern Snow-Cone Shed in the back of the old Texaco station. When entering the building, please be mindful of those on their deathbeds upstairs. We can validate that you do have to pay for parking, and we are no longer allowed to receive visitors through the emergency entrance ramp. We apologize again to everyone affected by the 2012 Rascal Scooter Pile-Up.
For decades, GuWayne Kelso was best known for making most of Jonathanville’s door knobs. After trading his diabetes medicine for a video camera in 1973, however, GuWayne switched over to making most of Jonathanville’s television shows. He would proudly go house to house, using his own door knobs to let himself in and show off all the footage he’d been collecting. Before long, most of his viewers were asking to make their own TV shows to share with everyone, so GuWayne launched Jonathanville Public Access (JPA). Thousands of shows have since been created, produced, and aired on JPA. GuWayne knew he wouldn’t be around to run the station forever, so from the moment he broadcast each one of our births live on air, GuWayne made sure that JPA was deeply ingrained in the lives of his eight children -- Barry (that's me!), Mary, Terry, Sherry, Jerry, Harry, Larry, and Library Kelso. The seven surviving siblings remain passionate about continuing to run the family business, and we hope GuWayne’s sickass fucking plasma TV set gets this channel up in heaven.
FACILITIES:
JPA has three sound stages, a state of the art editing facility, a green screen, and a green latrine. We can make it look like you are going to the bathroom on literally anything you can imagine. We also have actual bathrooms, and we are now legally required to include a notice here that no cameras are to be placed or used inside of those bathrooms without first putting a note on the door that says, “Filming In Progress. Do what you gotta do, but know that it’s being recorded.” We apologize again to everyone affected by Larry Kelso’s unauthorized decision to create and air the show Does Ladies Crap? Yes They Does.
LOCATION:
Our offices are located in the basement of Mt. Saint Tanya’s Hospital, across the street from Tim’s Southern Snow-Cone Shed in the back of the old Texaco station. When entering the building, please be mindful of those on their deathbeds upstairs. We can validate that you do have to pay for parking, and we are no longer allowed to receive visitors through the emergency entrance ramp. We apologize again to everyone affected by the 2012 Rascal Scooter Pile-Up.